I’m a member of the Total Fitness Club (力美健) chain. The facilities are nice and clean. The staff are friendly and helpful. The prices and policies are reasonable … in short, highly recommended. In the three years I’ve been a member, I’ve seen other members come and go. But like clockwork, they were replaced quickly by the exact same person. Over time, my highly keen powers of observation came to discern the nine archetypes you will encounter in a Chinese Fitness Club.* Today, I pass this wisdom on to you.
1. The Young, Fit S.O.B.
He is really fit. He is unnaturally tan. He will beat me silly when he reads this.
2. The Mini-Arnold
Impossibly muscular, but short.
3. The Mistress
Scantily clad. Intensely hot. Someone’s bored mistress.
4. The Middle-Aged Wife
Comes for the dance classes with the handsome, gay male dance instructor. The rest of the time, sits around chatting with her fellow species in the locker room … naked.
5. The Female O.L.**
A rather broad category. United by the common characteristic of having no inclination to actually work out. Will do yoga, poorly.
6. The Male Office Worker
Usually inappropriately dressed for working out.
7. The Dork
One of two hopeless extremes.
8. The Boss
Clearly the boss of something. Friendly and doles out lots of advice. He may or may not be a gangster.
9. The Foreigner
Has on a headset. Pays no attention to anyone around him. Occasionally sneaks a peek at #3.
* Regional to Guangzhou.
** O.L. = Office Lady
Brilliant!!!What a penetrating insight you got into these ppl.
So what kind of those 9 above are you?
or#10~~to make an observation on the ppl in gym rather than to do some exercise.
hehe…joking.:)
@carol
Clearly, I am #4.
#9 only occaisionally sneaks a peak. Dude, she’s the reason he’s there.
@Jay….you look good in the yellow shirt. i don’t know you can dance like that.
really ture,i’ve seen them all in the gym,errrrrrrrrr,me myself,#5,but i’m not an O.L,but i did yoga poooooooooooooorlyyyyyyyy!!!!
What’s the big difference between #6 & #7?
@Ian
You will be qualified to speak after you join a gym.
@Fiona
OL, Teacher, Policewoman … all the same. Sexy uniforms.
@Wei
Good question. The dork is appropriately dressed and usually has more schooling.
@Carol, according to what you said,who is behind Jay?? JD? LOL… poor guys…
Haha! This is pretty good summary. funny.. I went to gym too.. but i have never seen some of the types you put here.
indeed where do u fit in - or is position 10 yours - yet to be classified
@Rex
Some breeds need a little luck to spot or only come out at certain times of the day. It’s rather like bird watching.
@Aplink
Charmaine Harn is really skinny.
Dude, this is so true.
Watch out for those 6’s, they start of scrawny and small but they seem to turn into 2’s in days…
exactly
The 10th kind of person is a promoter for GZer:)
@Carol, Aplink, Nicole
10 Kinds of People You Meet in a Chinese Fitness Club just didn’t have the same ring. Plus, I’m nondescript and self-effacing.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww …… ahahaha …….. which archetype u r in ????
Wait a second … how u got those photos … eeeee
oh, where am I?
my Total Fitness Club (力美健) has more 3 than 9.
they always fight each other to get the foreign cock.
and we have many old foriengers to get the 3.
dongguan is lovely city!
ROTFL
Terrific.
@Pandora
I repeat, I’m nondescript and self-effacing. That’s how I was able to snap those photos.
@Angalaxy
For you, lovely An, I will make a new category. The sexually insatiable Korean hottie. BTW, I’m visiting your #3-bountiful gym.
@Fili An
Glad to see you embrace your headphone-wearing ambivalence.
I too belong to Total Fitness. I think you forgot one type, however…the incredibly jacked old men. There are quite a few at my gym. They’re usually over 60, have obviously died hair (and ’staches), can run circles around you, have great muscles, and like to sip hot tea between sets.
@Lindsay
Merely variants of #8. Just like you are a variant of #9 + #3.
(Yes, I am one of those obnoxious people with an insipid answer for everything)
Jay, you have been there for 3 years!!?? How come you are still muscleless?
You dont exercise your muscle enough!!! You go there only for exercising your eyes on #3??
Incidentally, the #3 is Ms.张雨绮，周星驰Stephen Chaw’s new girl…好索！
I like 周星驰~!! he is mine.
@jojo
those who live in glass houses, should not throw stones.
@an
i reiterate, sexually insatiable Korean hottie.
I was just joking not criticizing. You are of course in a good shape. ha..ha… I meant you have wasted your time on observing all the above ppl otherwise you have already become as excellent as #1.
@jojo….SOB you mean? XD
#1 is an envy of other members(exclusive of #2). That is why he is called SOB. ha.ha..
Wow, a whole post about Chinese gyms and no mention of how hair dryers are routinely scandalized or how #3s, 4s & 5s wear plastic wrap under their sweat suits (because sweating is healthy)!
We saw all of these on a weekly basis in a Tianjin gym. Most of the #2s were bald, though, and insisted on wearing *really* small, tight shorts. A Chinese friend explained the #3s to us, just to make sure we knew what was up.
My wife and her workout buddy had some notable run-ins with naked #4s in the locker room: Please stop paying attention to my…, including a naked English assault: Comfort Zone Violation #379 – Naked English Practice?
@Jay damn it you broke my record.
You got 7 Haos
@Joel/Jessica
I’m glad to know my experiences here translate over to Tianjin. As for the blowdryers, I, too, was amused at first. Although, in time, I found that the heat is actual very effective birth control.
@Junde
I am Crème Brûlée.
You are Filet Mignon.
No man can climb …
… two mountains at once.
Why I only see the type no. 4? I need hotttttttttttttttttttt gal… XD
@Jay you custard. you changed your about us page pic without telling me!
i thought we had an agreement!
never teach pianists how to use wordpress.
u never know when they’ll switch keys
@Ally
Look in the mirror
@Junde
Pianists on the whole are foul and reprehensible.
HEY…!!!!
Hahaha! I read this when I was in the office and I tried so hard not to laugh out loud. LOL!!!!
@Helen
The truth hurts.
@Ivy
I am so addicted to SoyJoy.
ahem, you are speaking for yourself ONLY, you bad apple.
I prefer no.3
Spicy Mistress
@puneet
seriously, how does one procure such fine merchandise. i know you know. tell me.
I laughed so hard I shit a brick.
Okay okay Junde brought me here.
I hope I can also see people like them in Zhuhai fitness centers.
What is the annual fee for Total Fitness?
And if u join at one place, can u use other Total Fitness places?
@Peter
Dude, just go to a Total Fitness and ask somebody.
I really enjoyed that post, I am a little confused, and have a tiny question. Can I send you an email?